The CoffeeWhat?
by RiverDoe
Summary: Set midS4. Xander has a new object in his basement, and Spike does not know what to make of it. XAnya. Oneshot ficlet. Please R&R.


Disclaimer: Xander, Spike and Anya are definitely not mine.

AN- Okay, I should never drink coffee at three am and stare into the dregs. It is not good for my health, particularly when I wander who doesn't like the smell apart from my mom. Enjoy the strangeness of this little ficlet and please review.

**The Coffee-What?**

There were times that Spike – to Xander at least – acted more like a dog than a member of the undead. Like right then, he had his head tilted to one side and a slight frown between his brows as he watched Anya's every move. Xander knew that he should probably be jealous, or at the very least mildly annoyed at what Spike was doing, but the fact that the look on Spike's face was pure curiosity stilled any emotion except amusement. Spike looked absolutely fascinated by the simple task Anya was doing. The amusement could be stilled no longer.

"What's the matter, Spike?" Xander chuckled, taking a swig of the beer in his hands. "Never seen a coffee machine before?"

Spike could do little more than send a glare Xander's way since the vampire was stilled tied wrists and ankles to the chair. He could, however, move his hands and sent a two-finger gesture Xander's way. Xander replied with a single digit.

"You boys are so immature," Anya muttered, sinking into the couch next to Xander. "And I find that incredibly attractive."

She offered Xander a brilliant smile and took a sip of coffee from the mug in her hands. Xander slung one arm around her and Spike continued to stare curiously at the machine that Anya had been using.

"I'm serious, Spike," Xander said, noticing the look was still on the vampire's face. "Have you seen a coffee machine before?"

"He is a demon, honey," Anya put in, taking another sip.

"Yeah, I've seen one," Spike muttered at last. He gestured to the monster that he had been staring at and said, "But I have never seen one like _that_ before."

Both Anya and Xander turned to look at the machine Spike was pointing at. With several flavours and styles already built in and it's ready supply of mugs and cups, the thing looked more like it belonged in the local Starbucks than in Xander's basement.

Anya had been frowning as she downed the caffeine infested drink. Something had been bothering her since Xander had first told her that he had got a coffee-machine.

"What's wrong, Ahn?" Xander asked, seeing the frown on her face that usually said that she was thinking, and not about sex.

"I thought you only liked what was it? Blue Hawaiian? No, that wasn't it, was it?" her face scrunched up as she tried to remember his favourite brand.

"Er… Yeah…"

"So why do you have all different flavours?" she asked, turning to face him. Her hands still cradled the mug of coffee between them, "Black, Mocha and all the others. Why do you have them if you don't drink them?"

"Well…" Xander hesitated under Anya's curiosity, and he noticed that Spike was now more interested in him than the machine as well. "Okay, already, enough with the looks. My mom pretty much hates the smell, so it stops her from coming down here. It works much better than a lock anyway," he muttered the last bit before downing the rest of his beer.

"Huh?" Two confused looks came his way.

"She drilled through the door last time I locked it," he explained as he threw the can in the vague direction of the trash can. It clattered to the floor some five feet away from it.

"So that's why the lock doesn't work…" Anya muttered thoughtfully. She set the now empty mug down on the table and turned to grin at Xander. "So what do you wanna do now?"

"I can think of a few things," he replied with a similar grin. He knew that the alcohol was starting to get to him as he leaned in close to Anya.

"Oh bloody hell," Spike groaned, throwing his head back. Xander pulled away from Anya and glared at the vampire.

"What are we gonna do with him?" Xander sighed.

"I have an idea," Anya replied, standing. Xander frowned at her as she dug around in the piles of clothes on the floor before she found what she was looking for. She held up the scarf triumphantly, "Do you think this will do?"

"That had better be clean," Spike growled. "And not see-through. I do not want to watch you two…" he broke off with a shudder at the mental image and tried to dodge Anya's hands. She managed to slip the scarf on and tie it with little problem – mainly because he tried to bite her and the stupid chip flared up. She also somehow managed to wrap it around his mouth, effectively gagging him.

So now he was tied up, blind, unable to protest but unfortunately, his nose worked perfectly well and below the scent of sex and sounds coming from the couch, he could hear the coffee-thing brewing and the smell was making his nose twitch.

**End**


End file.
